Introduction: Why It's Essential to Prepare for Marriage

Marriage is a beautiful institution that brings two people together, creating a lifelong bond. However, it's not an easy journey, and many couples face challenges that can lead to divorce. According to the American Psychological Association, about 40-50% of married couples in the United States divorce. So, how can you ensure that your marriage is successful and long-lasting? The answer is simple: preparation. In this blog post, we'll discuss seven essential questions to ask before and after you marry to save your marriage before it starts.

1. What Are Your Long-Term Relationship Goals?

The first question to ask is about your long-term relationship goals. It's crucial to have a clear understanding of what you want from your marriage, both individually and as a couple. Do you want to start a family, travel the world, or build a career together? Discussing these goals can help you align your expectations and work towards a common vision for your future.

2. What Are Your Deal-Breakers?

"Communication is key in any relationship, but it's especially important when it comes to discussing deal-breakers," says Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert. "Knowing what your partner's deal-breakers are can help you avoid potential conflicts and build a stronger foundation for your marriage." Some common deal-breakers include infidelity, substance abuse, and financial dishonesty.

3. How Do You Handle Conflict?

Conflict is inevitable in any relationship, and it's essential to know how to handle it effectively. Do you tend to get defensive, or do you try to find a compromise? It's crucial to have open and honest communication and to approach conflicts with a solution-focused mindset. Remember, the goal is not to win an argument, but to find a resolution that benefits both partners.

4. What Are Your Love Languages?

"Love is spoken in the language of the heart," says Dr. Gary Chapman, author of "The 5 Love Languages." "Understanding your partner's love language can help you build a stronger emotional connection and show them that you care."

According to Dr. Chapman, there are five love languages: words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. Understanding which love language resonates with you and your partner can help you express love and affection in ways that truly matter.

5. What Are Your Financial Goals and Habits?

Money can be a significant source of conflict in marriages, so it's essential to have open and honest communication about your financial goals and habits. Do you both have the same financial priorities? How do you handle debt, savings, and budgeting? Discussing these topics can help you build a strong financial foundation for your marriage.

6. How Do You Manage Stress and Anxiety?

Stress and anxiety can take a toll on any relationship, so it's crucial to have effective coping mechanisms. Do you tend to withdraw when you're stressed, or do you lash out at your partner? Learning healthy ways to manage stress, such as exercise, meditation, or therapy, can help you maintain a strong emotional connection with your partner.

7. How Do You Maintain a Strong Emotional Connection?

"The key to a successful marriage is not just about avoiding conflict, but also about building a strong emotional connection," says Dr. John Gottman. "Regularly expressing love, affection, and appreciation can help you maintain a strong emotional bond with your partner."